yet-to-be-named - 5

It was the second hour in the morning at college and I was half asleep. We have a 15 minute break after this class and the whole class was impatiently for it. I was extra restless than the rest as Agni and Vikram had planned to come to class then, and meet up with my friends.

It was almost just 10 minutes left for the break, when I looked out through the window could spot Agni and Vikram at a distance, and Vikram was waving at me when he saw that I was looking at them. It only makes me wonder if that guy could take things seriously at all.

The lecturer just finished taking the attendance and hardly left, when I rushed towards the door and signaled the guys to come to the classroom. I introduced the both of them to my close friends in class and of-course to Sunitha. Vikram was having a ball with all of them, and Agni spoke when required, but focussed more on observing the people.

Agni was amazed on listening to how we all bunked classes, had time for maintaining girl friends despite the tough and demanding academic schedule. I could see that he liked Sunitha (atleast I thought).

The break was almost over and I tried to push them out, but Vikram wouldn't budge. He was at the peak of his who-cares-attitude. It was time for the next hour, and the professor walked into the class, while the guys were still hanging around. He immediately sensed the chaos and easily spotted the two intruders.

When questioned, they told the professor that they were my friends and the professor, known for being very stern, ordered that the three of us go and meet the principal.

yet-to-be-named - 4

Next morning

I almost passed a sleepless night, with the two guys’ non-stop nonsense. They slept past mid-night, but I still lay awake thinking how I should go about in talking to dad. The three of us came out of my room, and it was the usual morning living room scene – dad, with his coffee, newspaper and news on tv and mom, multi-tasking in the kitchen.

“Good morning, guys. Did you all ever sleep? I could hear you until midnight”, said dad.

“Lots to catch up with, uncle, but we slept by mid-night, not very late though.”

I offered a silent prayer to God and started to talk.

“Dad, I want to talk to you about something”. “Go on, what is it?”

“You know this girl Sunitha, my classmate in college, right? Remember she came home last month?” Dad was intently watching me talk, and nodded. I was already shivering. “I am in love with her, dad. I consider her to be the best match for me and would like to marry her….” I could see the stunned-look in his face. Mom heard this from the kitchen and rushed to the living room.

“This is not something I expected from you. That girl is from a different caste, I guess and a non-vegetarian too. How do you think she will be able to adapt to our kind of living. Moreover, what about our sanctity? This is not tradition. You are not even out of college. It’s too early for you to even think of getting married now.”

“Dad, you will surely like her. She is a vegetarian, only her family is not. She is still a Hindu and worships the same Gods that we worship. And I don’t want to get married immediately, maybe after a couple of years.”

“So, the two of you are here to support this noble cause?” he asked them grimly.

“Uncle, they both like each other, what more is required. These days the “marriage-market” is very tough. I heard a lot of my seniors telling the demands of girls are increasing. Their minimum requirements being, the guy owning a house, a car, and earning a lakh a month. This guy doesn’t even have a job and a girl is willing to marry him. Just go for it, uncle” said Vikram.

Mom stared at Vikram bitterly. “Do you think you are in US now? Have you forgotten what your roots are?”

Dad looked at Agni now. “How do you say this is not in our tradition, uncle? According to the “Mahabharatha”, marriage can be classified into eight types, of which five are righteous. The five are Brahma, where the groom’s conduct, achievements, learning and lineage are considered by the bride’s parents, Daiva, where the parents marry their girl to the priest when they end up not being able to find a suitable groom, Aarsha, where the bride is offered in exchange of two cows to a rishi who doesn’t possess a lot of wealth, Praajaapatya, where the groom is given a lot a gifts and wealth to win him and Gaandharva, where the parents get their daughter married to a groom of her choice, even if it is against the parents’ preference. The last one, Gaandharva, is what Shravan is talking about now, where tradition, caste, horoscope do not play any role at all.”

“Is it not very early to make a marriage decision? I have also heard of a lot of these love marriages failing, that too within a short span. How do I know if this is a genuine decision made by him, or are his friends influencing him in any way? Sometimes, what a few friends start for fun, may end up like this. As a parent, I am bound to think about all this too.”

Agni thinks and says “Agreed uncle. We (Agni and Vikram) will go to his college tomorrow and meet up with his friends.”

yet-to-be-named - 3

We come out to see the usual boring conversation between Agni and mom.

“……there are also a lot of children in the mutt to whom I teach, maami, though I still have a long way to go in my learning.”

“I’m so glad that you are doing this. These days it’s become a rarity. Look at my son, he doesn’t even know how to wear a dhothi.”

“…. And your daughter-in-law wouldn’t know how to drape a saree either!” chuckles Vikram.

After friendly exchanges, we ushered Agni into the room.

Mom shouts, “Agni, what do you want for breakfast?” Agni runs to the kitchen and softly says “You don’t have to do anything specifically for me, maami, I can eat whatever is already available.”

This guy hasn’t changed a bit!

“So, what is it that made you arrange for this meeting all of a sudden? More so, seeing Vikram here is another surprise.”

“This guy is in love with a girl, buddy, and is scared of disclosing it to his dad. If you are worried about this, how about imagining the sight of seeing Sunitha and your dad in the same house, day in and day out….” He winks.

“This is serious guys, don’t joke around like you did with other girls. I am in love with her and would like to get married to her, of course after a couple of years. But we are just planning to let our parents know about it, so they have the time to accept it. Moreover, what if her parents start the groom search for her once college is done, so we are planning to play it safe.”

“Why do you think your dad would not agree? I think he would. Even if he doesn’t, it’s your life and you have to decide who you are going to put up with, I mean, live with, for the rest of your life. You are an adult, I hope you realize that.”

“Don’t think everything is over with the wedding. Wedding is the beginning. Parents are an important part of our lives, and it’s imperative that both their parents are happy with the proposal.”

“What the heck, man! Is she marrying him or his family?”

This is what happens if you let these guys talk. I did expect this and this is exactly what I wanted, so I have varied opinions.

I said “Let’s talk to dad tomorrow. Are you guys in?”

yet-to-be-named - 2

I barely managed to catch the bus at the last second, as I usually do and chose to sit close to the window, so it’s a little airy. As the bus started speeding up, the air hit hard on my face and my thoughts rose. Who is the right person that can tell what my dad thinks (to some extent) and how he is bound to react? And the first person who flashed across my mind was my childhood friend, Agni.

Agni and I were neighbors and good friends and the irony – we didn’t share anything in common, not a thing. This is what made me think he is the right person who I can use, to judge my dad. Agni now lives in Madhuranthakam, a small town in the outskirts of Chennai and he is one of the main persons that manage a Mutt (a place where Hindu scriptures are taught). He is doing his Bachelor’s degree by correspondence. He is a person who I can look up to, anytime and for anything.

It’s been a while since I got in touch with him and I have a feeling, the time has come. I have not told him of my love affair as yet, and the fear of telling him is even more than telling of it to my dad. I have no idea how he would react.

Few days later
It was a Saturday morning and dad was just about to leave to office, when the doorbell rings. Being known for his non-punctuality, I believed it wasn’t Vikram at the door, but I was shocked more than surprised.

“So US has changed you, huh?” I winked. He laughs and we exchange friendly bumps.

“How are you, Vikram? Feels good to be here, or are you criticizing everything you see?” asks my dad. “Not at all, Uncle, India, anytime!” and he gives a hi-fi to dad. “Ok guys, I’m running late, you guys catch up with your past and have fun.”

“Aunty, don’t tell me you made “upma” for breakfast. I’ve been expecting some hot Pongal, vada, chutney and sambhar. See, now you know why I came early?”

“You haven’t changed one bit, Vikram. It feels so good to see you. How do you like the US? Have you already chosen an American girl for you?” Mom laughs.

“Girls here are better, Aunty. I’m sure Shravan knows a lot of them, and I bet he’s already chosen one. Make yourself ready to get him married to a north Indian girl, who doesn’t know how to cook, doesn’t believe in God and wears skimpy clothes…” I could see my mom go open-mouthed.

“Mom, give us some coffee, we are going to my room.”

In my room
“Why did you have to talk to mom like that? It wasn’t funny at all.”

“Oh, so did you want me to tell her about Sunitha, so she really knows what she is in for? I just gave her an introduction, so that……”

“Stop it, you don’t know an inch about this and you start blurting out a whole boring story. Listen first....”

Mom shouts : “Shravan, Vikram, Agni is here.”

“Agni………………..? You have called him here to discuss THIS? Are you nuts?

Yet-to-be-named

I(Shravan) woke up with a jerk and realized that it was 7am already. I had very less time to get ready and leave to college. I just dreamt of my father not approving my love-affair with Sunitha. The very thought of discussing this so-called-issue with my dad has been haunting me for quite a while now and I am literally having nightmares, like the one that just woke me up.

My generation has this problem of being badly sandwiched between these totally different generations (or every generation thinks the same way, I don’t know), but I personally feel that way. My parents got married without even seeing each other’s face properly, not even had a few exchange of words. How do they know if they were compatible with each other? Their parents decide. An oft-heard dialogue: “Being your mom, who else (but me) knows what you want and what is best for you!!!” But it is me who wants it and I’m an adult, so I think I know better what I really want. Anyways, so that’s how my parents got married. For the immediate succeeding generation, people are clear that their marriage is going to be of their choice and their parents are totally in. In-fact they think it’s better that way, so their kids don’t blame them for any failed marriages.

And I’m caught between both these categories of people. My parents would want to choose the girl that I have to get married to (at least that’s what I think) and my younger cousins are already out there dating, after letting their parents know. What do I want to do?

I am in love with this girl Sunitha. She is my classmate in college and I’ve known her for over 3 years now. She’s really sweet and cute (of-course) and how my life has been after she has given an entry, is beyond imagination. I know of my dad giving his support to a lot of love-affairs of my friends, but I totally believe that when it comes to his own son, the rules that were once applicable to others would no more be applicable to me. And the fact that I’ve never been really so open to him about these kind of sensitive things, create the fear in me. I emailed Vikram about this whole thing telling him that I wanted to talk to him.

Vikram is a very close friend of mine from school. Both at school and after school, we always hung out together. Be it going out for movies, or studying for exams, or flirting with girls, we did it all, together. My dad somehow thinks that he is a very good and well-behaved guy (I think otherwise, though), so thought of making him talk to dad about Sunitha. He is in Chicago now, doing his under-grad. I emailed him about all this, so quickly switched on my computer to check for any reply.

And there it was, it said he was anyways leaving to India next week for a short trip, so he said we would meet up and talk about it when he is here. I was already late, so hurried up to make sure I’m not late to college.